This article comes from Den of Geek UK.
For the first time in my life, I watched the mid-90s sci-fi movie Space Truckers the other week. It’s an oddity of a film, not without charms. But it also has two quite different sex scenes, which is presumably the reason you’ve clicked on this article.
What struck me is that these moments of groinage were really odd. And, in fact, lots of sex scenes in 1990s sci-fi movies were really odd, too.
You may need a cold shower and a post-reading moment to yourself. But join me, if you will, for a little trip into how the movies believe will change the way human beings interface…
If you’re ever going to write a science fiction film, and fancy a bit of nookie in it, this is the gold standard to aim for. What I love about Demolition Man – and it’s not a short list – is its invention of technologies that it has no intention at all of explaining. As a consequence, the three sea shells remains a mystery, 25 years later. Had they bothered to explain how they worked, they’d be a forgotten prop in a sci-fi movie.
But then there’s the sex scene. Setting the, well, scene a little, by this stage Sandra Bullock’s upbeat, positive Lenina Huxley agrees to have a future fondle with Sylvester Stallone’s archaic John Spartan. Spartan is old school. He wants a traditional mattress melange. Huxley wants neurological nookie. The film has great fun with this, as the pair duly sit opposite each other with weird headsets on.
I think, credit to Stallone here, he plays the comedy of this well. Bullock sells it of course (the look of disgust on her face as she says “fluid transfer” is priceless), because she’s ace. Stallone plays off that nicely, though, and chuckles duly ensue. It’s as erotic as a bag of pork rinds. And let me assure you, this clip is very safe for work…
Supernova, as you may know, was a very, very troubled production. Its director, Walter Hill, would take his name off the end credits, and the film would be nuked from orbit (the only way to be sure) when it was released into cinemas.
But the sex scene? Well, it’s really quite odd. The scene in question was shot with Peter Facinelli and Robin Tunney. The plan was for zero gravity sexual intercourse, filmed with the help of – I’ll never tire of saying it – a rotating pole.
However, after a troubled post-production, Francis Ford Coppola – yes, that one – was brought in to have a look at the movie. He wanted to make a few changes, and spent around $1 million re-tooling the movie. But one change he wanted to make was to the nookie. He wanted the scene in the film, but – in a bid to make it even more bizarre – he wanted it between different characters. As such, in the movie, it’s Angela Bassett and James Spader who gallop without gravity. Yet – strap yourselves in – it’s not their bodies. When the forefathers of visual effects work were putting together groundbreaking visuals such as those we saw in the likes of TRON, Jurassic Park, The Abyss and Terminator 2, little did they know that they would lay a path for Bassett and Spader’s heads to be digitally superimposed on Tunney and Facinelli’s intertwining bodies. Good times.
Jeff Fahey’s Jobe comes up with the killer line “I’ll see you on the inside” as he straps a helmet – steady – onto the head of Jenny Wright’s Marnie, in a glimpse at what foreplay is like in the future. What follows over the next three minutes of ‘eh?’ is cross cut material of two people in rotating rigs, apart, spliced in between two virtual reality figures kissing, and then apparently merging into one insect.
Then, they separate, with no shortage of pillow talk, and then Jobe turns into a weird mouse thing. This doesn’t end well, and the scene gets really quite uncomfortable and unpleasant.
On the big screen, the footage was notable for people straining to see if the film really did have a virtual reality dick visible.
Stuart Gordon’s mid-90s sci-fi movie Space Truckers is the kind of film that, today, would be found filed on the third rack back in Wal-Mart, with a $5 sticker on it. And that’s on day of release.
But it made its way to cinemas in the mid-90s, which meant the small subset of people who paid for the pleasure got to see a moment of big screen sci-fi erotica on an enormous screen.
The film has just been released on Blu-ray in the UK, which means you can now enjoy all of this in 1080p. But what I like here is the sheer effort our hero (Stephen Dorff) goes to in order to take his trousers off. He’s clearly trying to impress, as he does a zero gravity disrobing.
Bonus points too for using the kind of music you hear when browsing your local Hallmark store.
But this is just the warm-up. Because Debi Mazar’s Cindy also finds herself the object of Charles Dance’s affection. His line is to tell her that he rebuilt “every organ” and he basically seems to start his penis as if it’s the motor on a speed boat.
It’s his foreplay and small talk that makes this so erotic, though. “I emit a low amp electrical wang pulse designed to drive women wild with pleasure,” he helpfully explains. Before his motor cuts out, and he has to excuse himself to “coordinate my seldom used reproductive sequences.”
Honestly, I’m getting hot just writing about it. The bit when he gets “100% operational” is up there with Last Tango In Paris…
If you really want to drive your partner wild in, well, a spaceship, then you need two things. Firstly, you need an android. Secondly, you need to a remote controlled-emotion chip, something that Ann Summers is expected to start stocking in 2081.
What makes First Contact’s moment of arousal so potent is the face that Brent Spiner pulls when the Borg Queen ties him up and – well, there’s no other way of putting it – turns him off. The zeros and ones in Data’s head have rarely been aligned so amorously…
Natasha Henstridge’s character of Sil in 1995’s Species is really rather keen to have an offspring. We know this, because she’s to the point. She says this up front, whist disrobed and sitting in a steamy jacuzzi. I think we all remember our first time doing that.
She goes about satiating her desires in the time honoured fashion, by thus doing something freaky with her eyes, turning into a strange creature, and then drowning her potential mate, all whilst Michael Madsen opens a patio door. Then, in a move straight out of a Mills & Boon romance, her tentacles enter her drowning lover’s mouth.
It’s one a series of lovemaking moments in a film that’s perfect for a first date, washed down with a good, chilled bottle of wine, and some well-chosen chocolates…
If all that doesn’t get you in the mood for some bed bopping in the future, there’s not much more I can do…